Not the Merriest of Christmas', so far...

This Christmas has been plagued with troubles. I wonder if that is just the nature of aging and watching those we love age as time marches on for each of us or maybe, just the troubled times we find ourselves in this year.

Many of my people have experienced illness, loss, and suffering. In essence, Murphy's Law has been alive and well this Christmas.

I dreamed of a beautiful Christmas repleat with merry-making, joyful times, playing outside in our new yard in the sunshine, happy times making happy memories to be fondly remembered as our "first" Christmas in our beautiful home.

The weather is not cooperating. No snow, no sunshine, just cold rain is predicted. Not the scenario I have dreamed of since moving here. I planned to have family here, but the weather will probably keep our Christmas dinner to a bare minimum this year, possibly only my little family.

Our children have outgrown the "Santa" thing, so the magic seems to have diminished considerably.

Several of my family have been experiencing depression. Nothing I can do about that, but it is quite difficult to watch someone you love so much, be tortured from within, at such a beautiful time of year. Tends to be contagious and depression sets in around my heart, as well.

Many people are no longer with us this Christmas and grief at the holidays is so tough to deal with. No way to get around that one. Just gotta go through it.

Finacial worries plague nearly everyone I know. Times are tough right now for so many people.

Little things that go wrong seem to be magnified. Add to that the hormone factor and my life seems pretty troubled this season.

The beloved Christmas tunes that I cherish so much, that have played throughout my house for weeks now, will soon be coming to an end.

I am going to revisit How the Grinch Stole Christmas and learn how to be a Who in Whoville. Learn how to keep Christmas joy from being stolen from my heart. This is the first Christmas I can remember that I have had to fight so hard to stay merry.

But my resolve is solid. It is going to be a happy Christmas for me. I am determined to make it so. To appreciate the good that is my life. To recognize the blessings that have been showered on my family. To understand that even when life is tough, it is still worth the effort to enjoy. To be thankful for what is, for it could easily be so much worse.

Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus. It is a Wonderful Life and there is Joy to the World to be shared by all.

To quote from one of my favorite writings:
"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas this year. May your days be merry and bright and may we all remember What a Wonderful World it is, in which we live.

May His love fill us in this sweet season and carry us through the coming year. May we all keep Christmas in our hearts everyday of the year and not only count our blessings, but share them, and in doing so, spread the love of our Saviour and God to those who need it, whenever they need most, every single day of our lives.

"God bless us, everyone!"

"Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

Our New Home

Here they are...finally! Photos of our new home. Please excuse the Rubbermaid containers that are still lying around with stuff in them to unpack. It is still a work in progress.

Let me state from the beginning that Callie's room is clean and has stayed that way since we moved in. Her room is decorated with her beloved horses as a theme. Western all the way for that girl.

Grace's room is for lack of a better term, eclectic and new age. It is a little messy, but she comes in second on the clean room competition.

Micah's room is easy to spot dispite the camoflauge literally EVERYWHERE he could find a place to place it. He got a really bad grade for neatness and his room has only been clean a couple of times since moving in.

Our master bedroom is clutter with the boxes of stuff aforementioned.

The kitchen is usually not buried under layers of clean, freshly washed dishes, but I took these photos after our dinner party and since our dishwasher is not here yet, I am washing by hand and letting them air dry.

A couple of other places you might see an ramdom box or two whose contents haven't found a home yet. However, if I waited until it was perfect the photos would never happen.

I love the tranquilty of the living room. I can feel my BP drop and my heart rate slow the longer I sit there by my tree. Another favorite place is the den with a roaring fire in the fire place. My overall favorite is the kitchen. Most of you who have been to our former home know that my kitchen there was smaller than most galleys on boats, so I am still trying to determine the best place for everything, since there are so many options for placement. Just so many places to love in this house!

Our home sits on a gererous 1.7 acres of land. How unheard of is that? We have so much space inside and out and we are loving every minute of it!

So if you are ever in Fort Deposit, Alabama drop by and pay us a visit at 210 Golson Road. We would love to have the company!

We have as our esteemed guest this night a stranger. We don't know him and there is a unique feeling that accompanies inviting a total stranger into your home to spend the night with your family. I am glad I experienced it.

His name is Garth Poorman and he hails from Hebron, New York. He began walking from New York on August 29 and over 1300 miles later, he arrived on my doorstep.

I read his story in the Greenville Advocate and asked my family what they thought of inviting him in. They all agreed it would be fun so I emailed Garth. He phoned me and it was all set.

He arrived at 2pm today, showered and settled into his room to document and blog his trip. Callie graciously gave up her room for him while she bunks with pesky, little sister tonight. I invited another family to join us for dinner, so at 6:30 Stan, Tina, William, and Anna Foster arrived for Jewell Conway's Camp Stew. I added biscuits, crackers, and wheat rolls and Tina brought some delicious Chocolate Chess Pie.

We had a delightful meal with much interesting conversation. We are Garth's 83rd host family and since leaving NY he has only had to stay in a hotel 3 times. How's that for a great record. He has three more weeks on the road, even missing Christmas with his family all to prove that human kindness abounds and that compassionate people are everywhere. He is walking for kindness and walking half way across America to prove it exists. I think it quite admirable.

After dinner, dessert, and coffee I received a phone call from a friend of mine who is editor of the Lowndes Signal. He wanted to interview Garth and me for an article in the paper. Garth will also publish an online book of essays that tell about his travels and hopefully, we will be worthy of a mention.

We didn't know him when he walked up to our door, but we feel now that we have a lifelong friend that lives in Hebron, NY.

Mama always said it pays to be kind.

Celebrating Callie

All my deliveries began the same mundane way. There was no gush of fluid loss and screams of "It's time, it's time!". No, just simple, quiet, slow leaking that was almost an imperceptable signal that the time as a "couple" that my baby and I had enjoyed, was coming to an end.

Micah was a C-section and the dr. and I had discussed trying a V-BAC delivery, if possible. We knew a normal delivery would be essentially the same as a first time birth because of the C-section. We knew it would probably take awhile to get her here. We were ready. Or so we thought.

Nov. 21, 1996 the slow leak was no exception. I awoke with the now familiar trickle and began to prepare for the hospital visit that would ensue shortly. We got Micah to Grandmama and arrived in Montgomery that morning early. After admission, nothing was moving fast enough for the doctor so at 2:30 that afternoon, the pitocin drip began.

I labored all.through.the.night, until I awoke at around 5 am to the sounds of moaning and again, realizing it was me, called the nurse. She checked my dilation progress. She said in a very chipper voice as she held her hand in front of me to give me a visual, "You have dilated to about the size of the tip of my pinky finger". Are you kidding me? Pit drip all night, contractions all night, been laboring since 2:00 am the previous day...are you kidding me?

I grabbed the nurse by her jacket collar, pulled her face close to mine, then in a very menacing tone told her to call that doctor and tell him that I had to have SOMETHING DONE. I didn't care if he came to give me an epidural or if he came to do a C-section, but I was tired, very tired and I wanted relief! I think I borrowed a phrase from my SIL, Sherrie, who after 24 hours of labor told the doctor that she didn't care if they pulled the baby out of her nose, just get it here! (smile)

The doctor arrived at close to 5:30 and administered the epidural at which time dilation began in earnest.

The rest of labor was good, except I was too numb and it made me very nervous. Would have preferred a walking epidural, but live and learn. JJ and Michael kept sneaking saltines and Sprite into the room for me. I was starved after such a long labor and it did no harm, in fact made me feel better.

Finally, at a little after 11am the nurse calls in the doctor and it is time to push. At 11:35 on November 22, 1996 our sweet little Callie was born. Months earlier in an ultrasound, she had been sucking her left thumb and while being delivered, she was sucking her left thumb! And she never sucked it since, except to immulate others.

JJ told me to look at her fat thighs and one of the nurses scolded her for talking that way about the baby! She was a quiet baby and a good baby. She loved to cuddle (and still does).

We named her Callie Maria. My maternal grandmother was named Caroline Marie, whose nickname was Callie Mae. So to honor the memory of such a sweet and dear lady, we chose Callie Maria. It has proven to be a good choice in names. Callie is as sweet and dear as was my Grandmama.

She had to spend about a week on a biliblanket at home to take care of jaundice, but other than that, she was perfect and looked like a sweet, little, angel baby. She smiled all the time. Even when she cried, she would stop to smile if you smiled at her. Everyone called her a friendly baby or a smiley baby. She didn't engage in life in the beginning, just sat back, observed, and took it all in. She was almost a sleepy baby and still enjoys her sleep at night. Once she got the confidence to jump into life, she dove right in and has not slowed down.

I worked hard for Callie. I labored over 33 hours to get her here, but she is worth every.single.second. of it! She has sweetened our lives with her good heart and made every day richer and fuller with her presence. I hope that I am able to build in her the confidence that she is loved, just for who she is. That no matter how much she does or how much she doesn't do, my love for her is ever constant, never ending, unconditional, and all encompassing. Middle child syndrome may be an inevitability, but I do all I can to let her know that she has not got to do anything to keep us loving her. We just do!

Happy Birthday, dear Callie! Until the day you hold your own little one in your arms, you will never fully comprehend how very much I love you. It is impossible for me to do anything other. I hope you have a very happy day horseback riding or seeing New Moon...something that will make you smile so big your cheeks ache!

Love always,

Mama

Celebration!

Today, 11 years ago I was in labor and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my sweet daughter, Gracie.

She was by far my easiest birth. I had been in labor for several hours before needing Stadahl to take the edge off the pain. The meds were administered about noon that day. At 2:30 or so, the dr. came to give me my epidural, immediately after which I heard him tell the nurse that they needed to get me back into the bed because I was pushing. Only then did I realize that someone was groaning and that someone was me. The most powerful feeling had overtaken me...every fiber of my being was focused on pushing. It was something that I had always been too numb to feel before. It was so amazing to know that my body was busy doing just what it needed to do to deliver the baby!

So at 2:45, my baby girl made her grand entrance into this world. Before cutting the cord, Dr. Saucer showed us a knot in the umilical cord...he actually shoved his thumb up through it. He then tells us that at anytime during gestation, Gracie could have kicked or moved in a way that would have cinched it tight and cut off her supply of oxygen, food, etc...and she would not be here with us.

For nearly a month after, I would hold her close to me and cry and thank God that He protected her in my womb. The thought of losing her before I ever met her was devastating to me. So very thankful that God spared me that.

She was a fat little girl...my biggest child weighing in at 7lbs.,12oz. Immediately, I told JJ and Michael that I wanted to name her Grace Erin. Don't know where that came from...just popped into my head, and it was so.

We came home the next day and had to return to the hospital because Grace's billirubin count was dangerously elevated. They recommended putting her on formula to stimulate the livers enzymes to eliminate the jaundice. I was crushed as was Gracie. She had been a natural at breast feeding and she did not like the bottle or the formula. I would get two ounces in her and she would lose about half of that every time we fed. She cried constantly and I could not comfort her no matter how I tried. She was in a baby bed with the ultraviolet light shining on her little naked body. Finally, a nurse came in and found both Grace and me, crying uncontrollably. She tried to calm Gracie to no avail then turned to me and asked if I would let Gracie know that she was not going to have to be on that nasty formula forever? She of course, could not go against drs. orders and tell me to breastfeed her, so in her own way suggested that I do what my mama's heart told me was best for my child. I am still grateful to that wonderful woman for understanding the special bond between a mother and her baby! She was so wise and caring!

I picked up my precious baby and nursed her. She settled down right away and was soon sleeping soundly under her warm light in her soft bed. It was the right thing to do.

The next morning the dr. not knowing what kind of night we had, the good or the bad of it, came in with the results. My milk WAS good and it was OK to begin nursing again. Little did he know! (smile)

We brought her home to stay a day later and our little family was complete and all together!

She has brought so much joy to our lives. She is witty, funny, creative, passionate, dramatic, and fun-loving. She is unique in every way...her own person without a doubt. I cannot imagine life without my darling girl. She has been a delightful addition to our family for 11 years and we are so very thankful that we didn't lose her before birth.

God has watched over our family, been so sweet to us, and taken care of us in every way possible. He is our rock!

Happy birthday, Gracie! I look forward to many years of celebrations with you. I love you more than you will ever know...well, at least until you hold your own precious baby in your arms. Then you will know the all encompassing love that I feel for you.

Love, Mama

The Toilet Tissue Fairy Came To Our Home For Halloween!

We awoke on Monday morning, to a lawn filled with white streamers of toilet tissue hanging from our trees, shrubs and even our mailbox! The Fairy must have had many houses to decorate, since ours wasn't done until Sunday night!

We were delighted to find these decorations left by the Toilet Tissue Fairy! We were very honored that she even thought enough of us, that she left the eight rolls from which the tissue was dispensed!

We cleaned up most of it, but as you know, you can never quite reach all those pieces of paper dangling just above your reach, blowing in the wind, so some just have to be worn away by the weather.

No matter. They are just a reminder of our specialness...to be choosen for decorating by the Toilet Tissue Fairy!

Halloween on a Budget

Anyone who knows me, knows that lately my favorite phrase has been, "I can't afford it right now". I have never been a very private person about my humaness, along with all the life stories that go with it.

Money has been tight and at times, non-existant for us as of late...long story. Suffice it to say, it will all be OK as soon as we get this current job finished, so we can get paid.

I didn't want to deprive my children of Halloween decorations and fun, but couldn't justify replacing the old worn out decorations, considering the financial restraints we are currently experiencing.

So I broke out some of my Halloween themed magazines and found some really cute decorations that required only a little planning, a little effort, and a little time.

My girls and I made "Ghost Jugs" to line the walkway in front of our home. I notified everyone in the house, not to throw away any milk jugs, but to rinse them out and put them with the others. We saved bunches of plastic milk jugs. I cut a hole in the bottom of each with an Exacto knife. As I began the job of cutting out the holes, I quickly realized that someone had forgotten to "wash" some of the jugs! Nothing like old soured milk odor to get you in that Halloween, holiday mood! : )It reminded me of the phrase in "Thriller"...the funk of 40,000 years...lol. That was pretty smelly, but luckily I had plenty that were properly cleaned. The girls drew faces on the jugs, then we stuffed about 8 white lights (on a strand of 50, with bulbs about 6 inches apart ) into each of them and placed them outside to guard our home, through the long, Halloween nights.

What fun we had making them, how easy they were to make, and how proud are my girls to have been creative enough, to be the originators of such cute ghouls, to illuminate our front lawn.

I posted a picture to share with you how cute these little ghosties are. I hope to bring another easy, inexpensive Halloween decoration to you, that we plan to make with dowels, newspaper and trash bags. Keep watching for it...