Blog Entry Number 200

I had really planned to make this a celebratory type of blog post, considering it is number 200, but there just hasn't been much to celebrate lately.

North Alabama and several other southern states were pummeled by deadly tornadoes last week and the devastation left in their wake has been terrific. It will take a very long time for them to dig out and rebuild and unfortunately, May is typically considered Tornado month in the south. I can no longer view the footage of the destruction. It is too heartbreaking and taxing on a heart that is already fragile at best.

Daddy is losing ground quickly. He will not be with us much longer. I wish God would take him home and end his suffering. It seems so cruel to allow him to linger in a state of being that is miserable for him. Not saying I am doubting God persay, but I am questioning the reason He would not just gently take him home. However, I don't know how Mama will handle it all. She may feel relieved to just be able to care for herself after such a long caretaking session with Daddy. She may be lost because caretaking is almost all she has ever known. I know she will grieve, but I hope she will be able to enjoy life, really enjoy life, like she has never been able to before.

I am phoning to see if I can get an appointment to see a couselor in order to learn some tools to deal with my psyche challenges and the extreme stress I am under.

I do still see the blessings all around me, but the troubles make it difficult to celebrate those no matter how grateful I am for them. (sigh)