I have been through a great deal of tragedy for which I was ill-prepared. I had few life skills, little self-esteem, no concept of who I am or what I truly believed in, and no idea how to acquire those. I had physical skills, but not much relationship training, no clear boundaries with those I interacted with daily, and a vast range of emotions that in the end had me stagnant in a sea of fear. I have never felt so lost in my life. I have never felt so wretched. I have never been so frozen. I have never been so reclusive. I lived in fear of tomorrow and all it could potentially hold. I could see very little good. I knew very little hope. I felt very little joy. It was a garish nightmare experience that consumed my whole self.
Through circumstances beyond my control, I was delayed in seeking professional help. Once counseling ensued and medication was prescribed, I find all that was lost is returning. I have hope springing eternal once again. I see some good in even dismal situations. I feel fear only fleetingly. I have found my laughter and my smile. I feel joy, even when nothing eventful is happening in my life. Mostly, I feel gratitude for my salvation from that dark, lonely place in which I lived for so long. Having been THERE, I can appreciate HERE so much more.
My challenge now is to continue my therapy and medications, even though I am feeling healed. I know there is still much work to be done, more skills to be learned, and more issues to tackle. I cannot imagine a better feeling than I already have attained, but somehow I know there is more, if I just keep searching.
Life is becoming richer, fuller, deeper, better. Best yet, it is becoming simpler and balanced. Once again, I can say "Life is good". That has been a long time coming.
No comments:
Post a Comment