I Wish It Was Me

I wish it was me lying in the hospital bed. I wish it was me whose immunity was near non-existent. I wish it was me who had to drink the contrasting dye for a CT scan. I wish it was me who was "more scared than I have ever been in my life".

But it is not me.  It is my son. My eighteen year old son who has just gotten his life mapped out.  My young man who has decided to serve his country. I am now wondering if this will effect his ability to do that. I don't think that thought has pervaded his young, invincible mindset. I hope it won't be necessary.

In the wee hours of the morning as reality began to sink in, he told me he had never been so scared in his life. I am thankful he can tell me such secrets of the heart, but I think it is the most heart breaking thing I have ever heard him say.

I must admit...I am just a little scared, too.

I just wish it was me...