We have as our esteemed guest this night a stranger. We don't know him and there is a unique feeling that accompanies inviting a total stranger into your home to spend the night with your family. I am glad I experienced it.

His name is Garth Poorman and he hails from Hebron, New York. He began walking from New York on August 29 and over 1300 miles later, he arrived on my doorstep.

I read his story in the Greenville Advocate and asked my family what they thought of inviting him in. They all agreed it would be fun so I emailed Garth. He phoned me and it was all set.

He arrived at 2pm today, showered and settled into his room to document and blog his trip. Callie graciously gave up her room for him while she bunks with pesky, little sister tonight. I invited another family to join us for dinner, so at 6:30 Stan, Tina, William, and Anna Foster arrived for Jewell Conway's Camp Stew. I added biscuits, crackers, and wheat rolls and Tina brought some delicious Chocolate Chess Pie.

We had a delightful meal with much interesting conversation. We are Garth's 83rd host family and since leaving NY he has only had to stay in a hotel 3 times. How's that for a great record. He has three more weeks on the road, even missing Christmas with his family all to prove that human kindness abounds and that compassionate people are everywhere. He is walking for kindness and walking half way across America to prove it exists. I think it quite admirable.

After dinner, dessert, and coffee I received a phone call from a friend of mine who is editor of the Lowndes Signal. He wanted to interview Garth and me for an article in the paper. Garth will also publish an online book of essays that tell about his travels and hopefully, we will be worthy of a mention.

We didn't know him when he walked up to our door, but we feel now that we have a lifelong friend that lives in Hebron, NY.

Mama always said it pays to be kind.

December 7th-Pearl Harbor Day

Most Americans remember this day as a day of horror, shock, and tragedy because of the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Our family remembers this day for something more in addition to Pearl Harbor. Ed Biagi left us on this day many years ago and we still remember like it was yesterday.

Celebrating Callie

All my deliveries began the same mundane way. There was no gush of fluid loss and screams of "It's time, it's time!". No, just simple, quiet, slow leaking that was almost an imperceptable signal that the time as a "couple" that my baby and I had enjoyed, was coming to an end.

Micah was a C-section and the dr. and I had discussed trying a V-BAC delivery, if possible. We knew a normal delivery would be essentially the same as a first time birth because of the C-section. We knew it would probably take awhile to get her here. We were ready. Or so we thought.

Nov. 21, 1996 the slow leak was no exception. I awoke with the now familiar trickle and began to prepare for the hospital visit that would ensue shortly. We got Micah to Grandmama and arrived in Montgomery that morning early. After admission, nothing was moving fast enough for the doctor so at 2:30 that afternoon, the pitocin drip began.

I labored all.through.the.night, until I awoke at around 5 am to the sounds of moaning and again, realizing it was me, called the nurse. She checked my dilation progress. She said in a very chipper voice as she held her hand in front of me to give me a visual, "You have dilated to about the size of the tip of my pinky finger". Are you kidding me? Pit drip all night, contractions all night, been laboring since 2:00 am the previous day...are you kidding me?

I grabbed the nurse by her jacket collar, pulled her face close to mine, then in a very menacing tone told her to call that doctor and tell him that I had to have SOMETHING DONE. I didn't care if he came to give me an epidural or if he came to do a C-section, but I was tired, very tired and I wanted relief! I think I borrowed a phrase from my SIL, Sherrie, who after 24 hours of labor told the doctor that she didn't care if they pulled the baby out of her nose, just get it here! (smile)

The doctor arrived at close to 5:30 and administered the epidural at which time dilation began in earnest.

The rest of labor was good, except I was too numb and it made me very nervous. Would have preferred a walking epidural, but live and learn. JJ and Michael kept sneaking saltines and Sprite into the room for me. I was starved after such a long labor and it did no harm, in fact made me feel better.

Finally, at a little after 11am the nurse calls in the doctor and it is time to push. At 11:35 on November 22, 1996 our sweet little Callie was born. Months earlier in an ultrasound, she had been sucking her left thumb and while being delivered, she was sucking her left thumb! And she never sucked it since, except to immulate others.

JJ told me to look at her fat thighs and one of the nurses scolded her for talking that way about the baby! She was a quiet baby and a good baby. She loved to cuddle (and still does).

We named her Callie Maria. My maternal grandmother was named Caroline Marie, whose nickname was Callie Mae. So to honor the memory of such a sweet and dear lady, we chose Callie Maria. It has proven to be a good choice in names. Callie is as sweet and dear as was my Grandmama.

She had to spend about a week on a biliblanket at home to take care of jaundice, but other than that, she was perfect and looked like a sweet, little, angel baby. She smiled all the time. Even when she cried, she would stop to smile if you smiled at her. Everyone called her a friendly baby or a smiley baby. She didn't engage in life in the beginning, just sat back, observed, and took it all in. She was almost a sleepy baby and still enjoys her sleep at night. Once she got the confidence to jump into life, she dove right in and has not slowed down.

I worked hard for Callie. I labored over 33 hours to get her here, but she is worth every.single.second. of it! She has sweetened our lives with her good heart and made every day richer and fuller with her presence. I hope that I am able to build in her the confidence that she is loved, just for who she is. That no matter how much she does or how much she doesn't do, my love for her is ever constant, never ending, unconditional, and all encompassing. Middle child syndrome may be an inevitability, but I do all I can to let her know that she has not got to do anything to keep us loving her. We just do!

Happy Birthday, dear Callie! Until the day you hold your own little one in your arms, you will never fully comprehend how very much I love you. It is impossible for me to do anything other. I hope you have a very happy day horseback riding or seeing New Moon...something that will make you smile so big your cheeks ache!

Love always,

Mama

Celebration!

Today, 11 years ago I was in labor and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my sweet daughter, Gracie.

She was by far my easiest birth. I had been in labor for several hours before needing Stadahl to take the edge off the pain. The meds were administered about noon that day. At 2:30 or so, the dr. came to give me my epidural, immediately after which I heard him tell the nurse that they needed to get me back into the bed because I was pushing. Only then did I realize that someone was groaning and that someone was me. The most powerful feeling had overtaken me...every fiber of my being was focused on pushing. It was something that I had always been too numb to feel before. It was so amazing to know that my body was busy doing just what it needed to do to deliver the baby!

So at 2:45, my baby girl made her grand entrance into this world. Before cutting the cord, Dr. Saucer showed us a knot in the umilical cord...he actually shoved his thumb up through it. He then tells us that at anytime during gestation, Gracie could have kicked or moved in a way that would have cinched it tight and cut off her supply of oxygen, food, etc...and she would not be here with us.

For nearly a month after, I would hold her close to me and cry and thank God that He protected her in my womb. The thought of losing her before I ever met her was devastating to me. So very thankful that God spared me that.

She was a fat little girl...my biggest child weighing in at 7lbs.,12oz. Immediately, I told JJ and Michael that I wanted to name her Grace Erin. Don't know where that came from...just popped into my head, and it was so.

We came home the next day and had to return to the hospital because Grace's billirubin count was dangerously elevated. They recommended putting her on formula to stimulate the livers enzymes to eliminate the jaundice. I was crushed as was Gracie. She had been a natural at breast feeding and she did not like the bottle or the formula. I would get two ounces in her and she would lose about half of that every time we fed. She cried constantly and I could not comfort her no matter how I tried. She was in a baby bed with the ultraviolet light shining on her little naked body. Finally, a nurse came in and found both Grace and me, crying uncontrollably. She tried to calm Gracie to no avail then turned to me and asked if I would let Gracie know that she was not going to have to be on that nasty formula forever? She of course, could not go against drs. orders and tell me to breastfeed her, so in her own way suggested that I do what my mama's heart told me was best for my child. I am still grateful to that wonderful woman for understanding the special bond between a mother and her baby! She was so wise and caring!

I picked up my precious baby and nursed her. She settled down right away and was soon sleeping soundly under her warm light in her soft bed. It was the right thing to do.

The next morning the dr. not knowing what kind of night we had, the good or the bad of it, came in with the results. My milk WAS good and it was OK to begin nursing again. Little did he know! (smile)

We brought her home to stay a day later and our little family was complete and all together!

She has brought so much joy to our lives. She is witty, funny, creative, passionate, dramatic, and fun-loving. She is unique in every way...her own person without a doubt. I cannot imagine life without my darling girl. She has been a delightful addition to our family for 11 years and we are so very thankful that we didn't lose her before birth.

God has watched over our family, been so sweet to us, and taken care of us in every way possible. He is our rock!

Happy birthday, Gracie! I look forward to many years of celebrations with you. I love you more than you will ever know...well, at least until you hold your own precious baby in your arms. Then you will know the all encompassing love that I feel for you.

Love, Mama

The Toilet Tissue Fairy Came To Our Home For Halloween!

We awoke on Monday morning, to a lawn filled with white streamers of toilet tissue hanging from our trees, shrubs and even our mailbox! The Fairy must have had many houses to decorate, since ours wasn't done until Sunday night!

We were delighted to find these decorations left by the Toilet Tissue Fairy! We were very honored that she even thought enough of us, that she left the eight rolls from which the tissue was dispensed!

We cleaned up most of it, but as you know, you can never quite reach all those pieces of paper dangling just above your reach, blowing in the wind, so some just have to be worn away by the weather.

No matter. They are just a reminder of our specialness...to be choosen for decorating by the Toilet Tissue Fairy!

Halloween on a Budget

Anyone who knows me, knows that lately my favorite phrase has been, "I can't afford it right now". I have never been a very private person about my humaness, along with all the life stories that go with it.

Money has been tight and at times, non-existant for us as of late...long story. Suffice it to say, it will all be OK as soon as we get this current job finished, so we can get paid.

I didn't want to deprive my children of Halloween decorations and fun, but couldn't justify replacing the old worn out decorations, considering the financial restraints we are currently experiencing.

So I broke out some of my Halloween themed magazines and found some really cute decorations that required only a little planning, a little effort, and a little time.

My girls and I made "Ghost Jugs" to line the walkway in front of our home. I notified everyone in the house, not to throw away any milk jugs, but to rinse them out and put them with the others. We saved bunches of plastic milk jugs. I cut a hole in the bottom of each with an Exacto knife. As I began the job of cutting out the holes, I quickly realized that someone had forgotten to "wash" some of the jugs! Nothing like old soured milk odor to get you in that Halloween, holiday mood! : )It reminded me of the phrase in "Thriller"...the funk of 40,000 years...lol. That was pretty smelly, but luckily I had plenty that were properly cleaned. The girls drew faces on the jugs, then we stuffed about 8 white lights (on a strand of 50, with bulbs about 6 inches apart ) into each of them and placed them outside to guard our home, through the long, Halloween nights.

What fun we had making them, how easy they were to make, and how proud are my girls to have been creative enough, to be the originators of such cute ghouls, to illuminate our front lawn.

I posted a picture to share with you how cute these little ghosties are. I hope to bring another easy, inexpensive Halloween decoration to you, that we plan to make with dowels, newspaper and trash bags. Keep watching for it...

How Do I Know If What I Am Doing Is The Right Thing To Do?

I am struggling with homeschooling. I don't know if what I am doing is the right thing to do.

How does one make a student CARE about his education? My son has been doing his typical mediocre work, where his studies are concerned. How do you motivate a person to do his best and take this seriously?

At this point, I am making him review his DVDs and retake quizzes UNTIL HE PASSES THEM, no matter how many times it takes. Is this the right venue? How will he ever be a self-sufficient person if I have to constantly follow behind and see that his work gets done? How will he ever feel "smart" enough, if I don't keep at him to LEARN these subjects that we have before us now, in order to lay the proper foundation for what is to come? This lack of knowledge will only exascerbate his difficulty in his future studies, if he does not master the material that is presently before him.

I don't know if I am enabling him to fail by staying on him to get this in his head or if I am dooming him by letting him fall short of what I know he needs to learn.
If I make him repeat this work, am I keeping him from maturing enough to do things on his own? Or, am I failing, as his teacher, by letting him fail and suffer the consequences?

I find myself at a loss and that is a place that is unfamiliar to me. I am so uncertain which is the proper path to take. If he doesn't clean his room, that will affect him for a time, but it will not alter his entire future, so I don't sweat that. If he fails, yet one more time on this school work, it could damage him in so many ways...both psychologically and physically, it can skew his future into something that he, nor I will be able to accept.

I am reminded of my English/Lit. teacher from high school. He would answer every question on our study sheet. He would give us the answers as he expected them to be, verbatim. There may be 100 questions on the study sheet and only 50 on the exam, itself. We HAD to learn all the answers in order to pass the exam, because we never knew which 50 we would find on that paper. If we did not make an acceptable grade, he would keep us in at P.E. or studyhall to repeat the test...until we passed with a grade, he thought appropriate. He FORCED us to learn the material or pay dearly for it in time spent taking the same test over and over. He is my inspiration for my theory of drumming this material into my son's head. But it was a different time then and I don't know if I am impeding my son's progress by holding him where he is, until the subjects are understood and remembered.

We are behind in his studies, but I am diligently working to get caught up. This has not been the school year either of us envisioned. He is even talking about the possibility of going back to school next year, so I know I am doing something right. By that, I mean this year has not been the piece of cake he thought it would be and that is encouraging.

I just wish I knew how to make him understand how this will affect his future. How it will impact his choices for further education, how it will make a difference in what career opportunities he will encounter, how it will matter to him someday, when he has a wife and children to support.

The one bright spot is this...I have learned from my shortcomings with my son and I am not repeating them with my girls. I no longer "do" projects for them, I no longer run home to get what they forgot to pack for school and drive the 13 miles, one way, to take it to them. Those days are gone and I know, they will be all the better for it. They are allowed to suffer the consequences of their actions and I am the soft place for them to fall, when things get hairy...the way it should be.

I don't think it is a parent's place to meet out punishment and discipline as much, as children grow older and become closer to plotting their own course in this big world. I think that the consequences they suffer at the hands of life (within reason) is usually all that is required. If the price life requires is painful enough to change their behaviour, then I am happy to be there to help them pick up the pieces and put it back together again. If life's consequence is too easy to overcome, discipline will be exacted by their parents.

My biggest fear is that I have coddled my son into a complacency that he will not be able to overcome. I pray that my wisdom has not come too late to be able to benefit him in the long run. That will be a difficult pill to swallow, indeed.