My life (and the lives of my siblings) has been overtaken by the care of our parents, as of late. In the last few years, it has come in spurts, but when it hits, it REALLY takes over our existence as we know it.
My Mama is 86 and my Daddy is about to be 91 in October. What an accomplishment! To be on this earth that long and still be living independently! They are in good shape for their ages and until something goes wrong, they require little assistance. I might have to go change a light bulb that Mama can't reach without climbing on something, etc., but for the most part they are amazingly independent of us.
But as time marches on, they need us more and more. Following a surgery or one of Daddy's accidents, we are there 24/7 caring for them. It is tiring. Let me be honest...it is exhausting. The worry, being on call even when it is not your time to sit with them, the errands, the medication that needs to be administered all. day. long., taking care of their needs and comforts, scheduling our lives around when we need to relieve someone of their shift as caregiver...the list is endless and it is as emotionally taxing as it is physically. But we are there!
We are there, because we love, honor, and respect our parents. Surely, the inconveniences that we caused them, the stress, the strain of raising and supporting 6 children was just as great for them, as our care for them becomes at times, now for us. And not just us, but our children as well. They have invested time in the lives of our little ones, helping to shape them into the wonderful people they are. So it is with a glad heart and a spirit of gratitude for all they contributed to our well-being for all those years, that we freely give our time and attention to them, in these golden years of their lives.
However, we are not spring chickens anymore ourselves and the strain begins to wear us down, as the time drags on and they still need us there. So we have made the decision to seek out assistance. It is a difficult thing for my parents to accept that they need someone there with them, but WE need to feel that they are safe and have someone there to make certain they are doing well. We all have obligations that pull us away from them, children, jobs, life in general, that require us to be able to get back to some sort of normalcy.
So here we are. As my sister says, "It is, what it is" and this is our reality. We can only do the best that we know to do and for now, it is to seek out help, in order to allow them to keep their independence and live together in the home they have shared for over 50 years.
To my siblings...God bless you all for what you do and all you have done for Mama and Daddy. I truly don't know what an only child would do in our situation, but I am sooooo grateful that I don't have to know that first hand. In the midst of this latest turmoil, I know that you tried not to overburden me, because of my recent diagnosis. I know you have taken on the "lion's share" of the labor of love in caring for Mama and Daddy. Words are inadequate to express the appreciation that is in my heart. You made this time so much easier for me and I know that had to be so much more difficult on you. There is not enough I can even begin to say to thank you for your love and support of me. You are the best and I am so blessed to have you in my life.
As I have said before (and maybe,to remind myself)there will come a day when this will all be over and I know that I will wish with all my heart that I could take care of Mama and Daddy once again. As difficult as it can be at times, I know I will miss this so much, when they are gone.
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