Life's Challenges and My Hopes

I hope through all the challenges we have experienced in the last two years, our children have been taking notes. Life is hard, but choices we make can ease that journey or toughen it. I certainly hope our children are listening to us and watching us closely so they learn what mistakes and poor choices can do to a person or an entire family.

I hope as well, they are paying attention to how we are learning to make wiser, better choices and how our lives are beginning to improve because of them. I hope they will borrow our life lessons and not insist on paying for these difficulties on their own.

I am feeling today as if things are brightening. It has been a very long time since I felt that and it feels so good. I hope I am not setting myself up for yet another disappointment. Time will tell...

Carolena's Race

Everyone enjoyed the 5K that was run/walked on Saturday to raise monies for sweet Carolena. 317 people participated and the goal was exceeded. I don't have a final total, but it was a hefty amount that will help offset many medical expenses. We are humbled by the concern that was exhibited for our family, not only by friends and family members, but by total strangers whose heartstrings were tugged by Carolena on the news, in the newspaper, or word of mouth. Ashley, Kevin, and family were overwhelmed by the response and the unadulterated outpouring of love, concern, and generosity of others.

This all came with a price. Todd and Kyle were sick with Strep and fever over the weekend and Carolena is now in the hospital fighting an infection. Most kids stay home and recover, but a baby with literally half a heart is at high risk and must be in close proximity of medical staff. The good news is the tests for Rotovirus, Influenza, and RSV have returned negative.

We are praying this baby will be able to fight off the infection and that her immune system will be just a wee bit stronger for the worry of it all.

Please pray with us.

Baby C | With Expectancy

I added photos to a blogpost by a pastor who wrote about our Carolena and the Race for Baby C that happens this weekend. May God bless Pastor Corey and all who help with the events this weekend! Go Team Long!


Race For Baby C!


Carolena on her rocking horse


Sleeps as if she is praying


Carolena playing in her box


The Long Family


Baby C | With ExpectancyA few weeks ago, I was informed about a little girl named Carolena that lives in Southwest Florida that was born with Heterotaxy Syndrome. If you are like me, the name of this disorder itself is not familiar. That is because it is extremely rare. Heterotaxy Syndrome is a disease that affects multiple organs, the most important one being the heart. In laymans terms, only one of her ventricles works. I don’t have to be a heart surgeon to know this is not good.

As you can imagine, Carolena has incurred a substantial medical bill that now leaves her parents in a difficult situation. Not only do they have their precious baby girl on the front of their mind. They have to figure out a way to pay for her medical care. Because of this situation, family and friends of Baby C (Carolena) have organized a 5k run walk that will take place this Saturday at Centennial Park in Fort Myers. The cost is $25 for adults and $15 for children under 18. All proceeds for this event go to help the medical costs incurred both past and future. The race starts at 8:00 am and no, you do not need to run the whole thing. If you are anything like me, running to the mailbox and back is about all that I can handle.

To be completely honest with you, I have never met little Carolena. I don’t know her parents. Carolena has lived and fought for her life for 2 years and I didn’t even know it. I don’t know what it is like to only have 1 ventricle working on my heart. I don’t know what it is like to be a parent of a child who has had 2 open heart surgery’s thus far with more on the horizon. My youngest daughter Sadie was hospitalized for about a week when she was born with a breathing issue. No parent should have to watch their kid hooked up to that many machines. I remember feeling overwhelmed and helpless as it seemed that my child’s future was in the hands of physicians and it seemed like there was nothing I could do. This family has gone through significantly more than anything I have ever experienced.

As a pastor, there are some things I don’t understand or have answers to. I can’t give an answer as to why Carolena was born this way. I don’t know why a God that has the ability to heal has not yet done so for this precious little life. I don’t know why health care coverage is so expensive or why sometimes, life is given and taken away so tragically. Those are just a few of the questions I can’t wait to ask God someday. Yet in spite of my questions, I still choose to trust God. Why? Because He is God and I am not.

I was reading a verse in Psalms earlier today that really struck a cord with this situation with baby Carolena and her heart. This is what Psalm 147:3 says:

“God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”

Sometimes I hear of stories like Baby C and think to myself, “what good could I possibly do?” I’m just one guy. I don’t have the ability to fix the heart of a baby girl. I don’t have the resources to pay for the incredible cost. I don’t have the words to reassure the family and answer the questions as to why this happened. But instead of focusing on what I don’t have, it’s time to start focusing on what I do have. I have legs. I have a voice. I have resources that God has blessed me with. I have a soul. Sometimes the way God heals the broken hearts of people and bandages their wounds is by using his followers to do it.

As his followers, it is time that we follow the example of our creator. He is the heart mender and the burden bearer. He wants to use us as his church to be the light of the world. I believe with all of my heart that if Jesus was here on this Earth, He would be at the race for Baby C on Saturday. Why? Because He is a God of compassion. He doesn’t wait for us to get our lives straight before He comes and rescues us, He always makes the first move. The good news is that Jesus will be at this race on Saturday. Why? Because He lives in the hearts of those who strive to roll up their sleeves and shine some light in a world full of darkness. If you would like more information on how you can get involved, please contact the church office at 239.458.0813.

I’m racing for Baby C on Saturday. I hope to see you there.

With Expectancy!

Corey

corey@firstassemblywest.com

Constraints

Much of my life and events surrounding my life are full of things that I either am not at liberty to discuss or topics I just really don't want to talk about. I am so uneasy about voicing many of my issues. I am not comfortable with exposing them yet.

Things seem to be taking a turn for the better, but I am so leery of letting my guard down. I am so uncertain of anything. My world has been shaken over and over, to its core and I am not allowing myself the luxury of becoming vulnerable...again. I don't know if I can take one.more.letdown. It just might put me over the edge.

I will grudgingly say that life looks as if it is beginning, only beginning to pick up a little.

There is much to think about and nothing to worry about. Perhaps if I chant that mantra enough it will become real to me.

Strength Forged By Fire

My mama stayed alone last night. The night before what would have been her 68th anniversary married to my daddy. I am constantly amazed at the strength of this 88 year old lady. She is astounding!

Life Goes On

I am amazed at the rapidity with which life moves on after death. My friends on Facebook keep posting events and happenings in their worlds, the news keeps reporting the happenings in the world at large, babies continue to be born, others leave the earth daily, It is as if Daddy's death was only a blip on the screen and then life goes on.

I must be honest and say that irritated me just a little. Not with people, just the circumstance. It seems my daddy deserves more than a few hours in one day to be remembered, but I am sure everyone feels that way about their loved one's demise. It was only in the beginning, I felt so upset by this. Now there is something sweet about it. Babies are born, people marry, kids graduate, and life goes on. It is easy to focus on the bad in life, the sorrow, the emptiness, the failure, the pain. How much better when one can look past that and see the good, feel the sunshine, dance in the rain, enjoy the wonder that surrounds us everyday.

My daddy does deserve to be remembered and he will be. Not by everyone whose life he touched because their own lives are not consumed with his absence, but he will be thought fondly of on occasion by us all and for some of us that will be a daily occurance. He lives on in our hearts, our thoughts, our memories, our offspring and in God's heaven.

I hope my mama can find some joy in life without Daddy. I wish that for her so desperately. She has spent her life caring for others and I would love for her to experience life on her terms, with no thought of anyone else's preferences. To just once, before she leaves this earth to able to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it and for however long she chooses to do so. She has earned it, she deserves it, and I pray she is able to have it.

Seventeen Days - Part 2

After Daddy's body left their home for the last time, it was decided that I would stay with Mama that first night. Callie and Gracie chose to stay with me. They slept in Granddaddy's bed while I slept on the couch.

I awoke early the next morning and paced the floor. Everywhere I looked, the walls, the floors, the landscape; all seemed to ooze the presence of my daddy and yet, his absence screamed at me from the very same places. I walked outside to escape the swell of emotions that were springing up within me. What greeted me were the buildings he built, the fields he plowed, the pastures where he raised cattle, the sheds he tinkered in, until my gaze turned to the fig trees and grape vines he planted. Baby figs were hanging in large numbers from the branches of the trees, and bunches of grape seedlings clung in clumps to the vines he tended so lovingly until his traitor body would no longer allow outside activities. Then I noticed honeysuckle vines winding their way throughout the grapes, weaving and twining around the fruit vines with full intent of choking the life from them. I began ripping and tearing the weed from my daddy's vines with a ferocity that must have made me resemble an insane person. Callie startled me when she asked in a very concerned tone, "Mom! What are you doing?" I sheepishly explained that the vines needed to be weeded and Grandmama couldn't do that so I was doing it for her. Poor honeysuckle. Under normal circumstance I really do like honeysuckle, just not that day.

We met later that Friday, with Harrison Funeral Home to make the arrangements for the service. We chose a simple but elegant black casket with silver trim. I later learned from Paige, that one of the decorations was Fleur de Lis, which is French for Flower of Life. I loved that. We opted for a spray of greenery with large, white, Football Mums and small, crimson, wild roses scattered throughout. In the center of the spray rested Daddy's Houndstooth hat. It was stunning in its simplicity.

The church ladies prepared a feast for the family and that is such a priceless gift to offer the bereaved. It is a time to connect, reconnect, visit, laugh, weep, hug, strengthen, and comfort each other, before taking on the distasteful task that lies before them. Prior to the funeral we had a viewing of the body. Hard stuff, that. Micah, who had been so strong and tried to be brave for all of us could not keep his emotions in check, once he saw Granddaddy's body in the casket. He wept until I thought my heart would break. Then Mama came and stood by the casket for the longest time, choking back tearful sobs. With each of her pitifully, brave attempts to choke back the tears, my heart shattered even more. Gracie stood and ran from the room just after I had gotten Mama to a seat, so after placing Micah in someone else's hands, I chased her downstairs where I found her hanging head over the toilet, sick with grief. That part is somewhat a blur from trying to care for everyone else and their sadness. Soon it was time to begin our goodbyes.

We took our places in the reserved pews among the mourners, who filled the building to capacity with standing room only. The masses were a cross-section of Daddy's life from the aged down to the infant. Each represented someone who loved him or loved one of his family members. Stan Foster began our service with Victory in Jesus. The singing was beautiful. Curtis Earl Sampley read a letter from Deborah, Daddy's nurse/caregiver from Tender Touch Home Care. It was a beautiful letter and I believe it to be sincerely from her heart, for she loved them both so well and cared for them for many months on a near daily basis. Curtis told us from his heart what Daddy had meant to him for so long. Stan led Home of the Soul and it was surprisingly upbeat, which is what we had asked of Stan. Then the grands took the podium and Paige read a heart-rending tribute to Daddy from all of them, telling of the fond memories and all the good that he instilled in them. Next, Raymond Elliott told stories of his friendship with Daddy through the years. He also read the article published in Our Families magazine that Kristi had authored after interviewing Mama. It was sweet and even made us all chuckle a time or two. We ended with a prayer and proceeded to the cemetary. It was very hot, so the words were short there. Then it was over and we all dispersed.

There was not much need for words at that point. Daddy had been sick for so long and each of us had said all that needed to be said. Our farewells had begun months, perhaps years earlier when all this began. Even still, after that much time has passed, it never seems enough. You are never truly ready to let go. We are so resistant to change, even when to be so is pointless. Change is inevitable and the sooner we embrace it the better we are.

Later, on Facebook one of my nephews who lives in Florida stated that if he could have a funeral like that, he would move to Alabama. Alas, it is not the geography, it is the integrity and the character of a man that evokes this kind of response to his demise.

Daddy accepted his fate with dignity and grace. He set a fine example; a clear path to follow. Even in death, he is showing me the way. I know I didn't always listen to you, Daddy, but I am listening now. I watched carefully and took mental notes. I hope to be able to show the bravery and courage that you exhibited, when my time comes. Rest in God's peace, Daddy. See you again, soon.