In The Wake of Disaster and Unrest

I am inundated with bad news from all over the world. Japan's earthquake,tsunami, and nuclear reactor meltdowns, battles on-going in Libya, and the middle-east in general, the economy world-wide. Things are so bad in so many places. People are losing their homes, their livelihoods, their means of transportation. It is bad all around.

We found ourselves tumbling headlong into all that nastiness, but God threw us a net once again. I landed a job, a good job and although I don't make the kind of money we are accustomed to MT bringing in, it is bread and butter money that we can count on to be there in between his checks. Slowly we are getting back on track. We still have so far to go, but we have been so blessed even through this storm in which we found ourselves embroiled.

We have our health and to that has been added some much needed, affordable health insurance. We have our homes one of which is soon to be occupied by Brittany and her family. We have each other and we are all better for the hardships we have endured and the other set of shoes we have been forced to wear. We have Michael's parents and Mama and Daddy and they are doing relatively well at this writing. We have our siblings and they are nothing short of a God-send. We have our friends, who have been neglected, but are still there and true blue. We have so many blessings that were taken for granted, but are now appreciated when looked at through eyes of those who have seen the potential for so much loss and have been spared it, for whatever reason. We danced so frighteningly close to losing everything we had, but were tossed a lifeline which has been secured in everyway possible by family and friends and they have done it in more ways than I can recount here in this post.

I feel as if I have been singing the same two songs for so long. The Doom and
Gloom song and the Blessed Beyond Measure song. I believe the former used to be predominant, but I feel the latter has caught up and overtaken it as of late. I hope that is true and that keeping our current course will set a pattern that will continue to see us flourish and overcome in every facet of our lives.

In Reflection, Even When My Life Bad, It Was Pretty Good

Purple!

Blossoms!

Flower Drops!

Sunburst Petals!

Berries in the Sun!

Things have improved. It is a slow process, and not unlike weight loss. The slower you lose the weight the better your chances of keeping it off. In other words, doing it the right way so that we will be fixing the problems for good and not have to revisit this phase of our lives again.

Spring is here and that has helped my spirits tremendously. I have much to say and not much time to print it, so for now, I will celebrate spring with some photos.

I have lost some very important facets of my life this week and I have gained some as well.

Two dear friends of mine have both lost their dads very suddenly within two days of each other. I can't help wondering why. Why my daddy is still here at 92 and their dads are gone having only been in their 70's. I will miss my daddy when that time comes, but it is no secret that daddy is not an easy man to get close to and that even though we love each other, we have never had that close, wonderful relationship that I always dreamed of sharing with him. These two friends did have that special bond and on the one hand, that makes losing their dad all the more difficult. On the other hand, it also affords them priceless memories of times shared that will sustain them in the absence of their fathers. It seems a decent trade-off. I will miss my daddy when he is gone, but not like they will grieve the loss of theirs. The close bond my friends experienced with their dads will take a greater toll on them as they make their way through uncharted territory without his guidance and wisdom to lean on. They will most likely struggle for a long time with a void in their lives that aches to be filled, for which there is no substitute. I can't see that being the case with me. I may be wrong and it may devastate me far more than I would like to admit, but there is a certain "disconnect" of emotions for me where daddy is concerned. I don't rely on him for advice in fact, I don't often agree with him on many issues. I don't share intimate details of my life with him, nor he with me. We just never were able to really connect and people tell me it is never too late, but unless both parties are willing it won't happen.

Catching Up

With all the changes in my life that occurred in the last year, I have found it very difficult to even pin down my feelings and thoughts, much less pen them. Pun so intended. So this is my meager attempt to re-organize my thoughts and try to catch up on my blogging.

My emotions are still rollercoaster at times, but the curves are straighter and the hills are smaller, but mostly the rails are less bumpy. I attribute my job to that. As difficult as it was to adjust to my new schedule (and at times still is)I have learned to utilize the "divide and conquer" methodology. I look to work to be a respite from home and home to be a haven from work. It is as if my life is two separate worlds and only occassionally do they collide. Somehow, it is all working. It helps tremendously that MT is at home working most of the time now. He does not like my SAH mom job, but he is doing a relatively good job of it.

My parents are doing well for 92 and 87 years respectively. They had a tough time of it for a while but Home Health has come in and with therapy, Daddy is getting back a little of his strength and mobility. That in turn makes Mama worry less and all is back on the upswing cycle for

Life is Full of Ups and Downs

I have been tortured by this rollercoaster ride for over a year now, but as I reflect I have been on the ride far longer than that.

Thanksgiving!

I am beyond excited this year because my entire family is joining forces at MY house for the holiday! I can hardly wait until tomorrow!

Having said that, I have so much to do! I am so hoping that we get to leave a little early today. If not, I just may come down with a case of something or another so that I can get home and get my holiday started!

Changes

Funny how life changes. Nothing ever stays the same. Roles reverse, hair turns gray, wrinkles appear, children grow, parents age, life moves on.

Sometimes I welcome change. I love the changing of the seasons and the way nature dances through each one with such grace. I like the way my hair has lightened into a salt and pepper look. I love that I can depend on Michael's love for me remaining steady and sure no matter how much time passes.

Sometimes I despise change. I hate the way time is marching across my face and body leaving a trail of devastation in its wake. I hate the way the strongest people I know are being buffeted and ravaged by time. I hate that I can't freeze time and keep my children young and safe in my care forever. As grateful as I am that Michael is home a good bit while I am having to work, I am so jealous that I am no longer the one who is home.

It is all a trade off. Nothing remains the same; everything changes.