The Battle Between Worry and Peace

The dominoes continue to fall and I am doing my best to right them and stop the onslaught.  I am finding I don't have the tools to be very effective in my battle. 


I am feeling frustrated.  I waited for years, literally years to talk with a counselor just to have an initial session then not get any real relief for another month.  I don't know how much longer I can keep this all together without some help.  


I am fearful.  I am realizing that most of my life has been lived with some form of fear lurking in the background.  That would be why I struggle with worry.  I am more successful now that I ever have been about worrying, but it still nags at me, always there even if it is just nipping at my heels, instead of completely engulfing me.  It is exhausting to try to keep it at bay.   I am trying to cut myself some slack considering the counselor only heard a snippet of my story and already thinks I need medication.  


I despise being so glum and negative. I don't want to go there again.  So I cleaned out my closet, which 1) distracted me from my madness, 2) accomplished a much needed task, and 3) forced me to think of someone else who could possibly be in worse shape than myself.  That is bringing to mind that it could be worse and that somehow, I have got to let God handle this stuff.  I have got to do what I can and let.Him.have.the.rest!  Somehow...

Cognitive therapy begins in earnest...