Vulnerability in Learning

I am preparing Valentine goodies for the most special people in my life.  I am making cupcakes, iced sugar cookies, brownies, and heart shaped cakes.


Not too long ago, I had money to buy gifts for others.  I had much more time at home than I do now, but I wouldn't take the time to prepare something "homemade" because I never felt that was good enough.  My dysfunction has bled into every facet of my life it seems.  


I can see there are lessons to be learned here.  There is opportunity for growth.  I am finding wisdom and prudence in the circumstance that has become my life.  I am proud of that discovery.  It is the difference between thinking I am being patient because although I am waiting, I am grumbling under my breath, as opposed to waiting with a smile on my face, knowing that to everything there is a purpose in God's world and even though I don't understand it, I have the faith to believe it is for my benefit.


Every circumstance in life offers opportunities for learning.  I can choose to sit back, sulk, and ignore them as they march past me, or I can sit up and take notice, then effect a positive change in my attitude and my life.


It is to that end, I am baking up a storm today.  I am using my abilities and giving of my time and energy to show those who matter to me how much I appreciate them being a part of my life.


That may seem small and petty to some, but for me it is a big step.  It feels as if I am putting my very spirit in the hands of someone else to either accept or destroy.  Who would ever think that baking a batch of goodies should be so frightening?  


I will put aside my angst, don my apron, and get to the task at hand.  And for once, I don't need any wishes of luck or prayers on my behalf.  I think God and I have got this one covered.  It feels like a little progress has been made.  Perhaps I can keep moving in this direction for a long while.